


Attached

by Kihoanya



Series: KiHo Smut Collection [11]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Bottom Yoo Kihyun, Consent Issues, M/M, Top Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:06:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kihoanya/pseuds/Kihoanya
Summary: Kihyun loves Hoseok to death even though he isn't perfect, even though he might say some things that hurt his feelings, even though it got worse.
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Yoo Kihyun
Series: KiHo Smut Collection [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1402822
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Attached

**Author's Note:**

> • Slight physical abuse.  
> • Slight mentions of suicide.  
> • Might be graphic.  
> • Sorta based on a true story.

Kihyun and Hoseok are heavily arguing once again over some stupid insensitive stuff Hoseok said.

"Why won't you believe me?!" Kihyun shouted. His voice was sharp and painful to the throat and ears. Hoseok pointed at the walls, indicating the neighbores will hear. It's truly all he cared about.

It's always something. Hoseok often commented on Kihyun's lack of sexual excitement, accusing him of lying so they don't have to do anything. He compared him with the other people he dated that had the same problem but then after the break up, they suddenly don't have that problem with their new partner. According to Hoseok.

Kihyun seriously had enough with his bullshit. For real, he isn't going to see Hoseok ever again. He's done with him not respecting his thoughts and feelings and it's happening way too many times.

So he kept blarring in frustration, kept arguing, kept repeating the same shitty things Hoseok always does while he keeps on hammering the same old words that had always hurt him.

"Let me tell you something. Just remain calm and listen carefully." Hoseok spoke fairly normal and under control. "There was this one partner, very sweet and beautiful. Everything went perfectly, we fucked literally almost every day in the week. It was the sweetest. Then one time after all I did, I thought we'd go down again but then suddenly the excuses began and since then we never fucked again. No matter what I did. All there was was excuses and crying. The other ones cried the same, turned out they were faking it." Hoseok glares, he kept his word because he knows what he has gone through, he isn't having it either. He can't be in a relationship with someone who never seems to want to have sex. It's completely normal and part of a relationship so he doesn't understand where this childish behavior comes from. Doesn't he love him?

But when Kihyun grabbed his bag and all, he got worried. Kihyun rarely cries like this, he's very emotional so Hoseok got up to stop him from leaving.

He's not getting on the road behaving like this.

It was Kihyun's moment though, he had the word now, he shut Hoseok right up with his overwhelming emotions, throwing his vunerable thoughts right at him, in hopes something will finally click, something to finally make up his mind and change perspective. He needs to be understood, he needs that confirmation that he isn't crazy.

Hoseok stays quiet because telling him he doesn't need to talk so loud never truly helped. He then makes Kihyun sit on the couch although he protested by swinging his hands away. It got on Hoseok's nerves; Kihyun knows how much he hates the fact that the neighbores might hear everything, but this time it seems like he was losing that power.

So his voice raised and it soon dominated the other after argueing back and forth for the shortest time. Changing every emotion Kihyun had into fear the more he tried to fight back. 

He understands where Hoseok's pain and anger comes from and every word he spoke kept him quiet, he doesn't dare to confront him about anything anymore eventhough he spoke no truths about him.

Suddenly, he can't put him back in his place.

Nothing new.

Instead, Hoseok was the one to do so again. Towering Kihyun who was seated. He had looked up in anger but hidden fear broke the eye-ontact, making him look down and glare at the floor. Shaking his head in dissapointment but didn't dare to shake it in disagreement. Not now, although he was tempted to.

Hoseok threw words of how it's his fault and always him nagging and causing these discussions. Kihyun was like a little child, day by day he messes up, fails to do the most understandable thing, never took his words seriously and always had something to complain about.

So, more anger kicked in and in a split second of not thinking, Hoseok threw his hands on Kihyun when he saw that he had wanted to scoot away to the other side of the couch; Hoseok's energy was penetrating, intimidating. Kihyun knew he sensed danger. And so it happened again, the close confrontation.

Perhaps a firm hand might help, Hoseok thought.

"Don't," Kihyun warned him like last time, his voice feeling restricted. He was getting really angry now. "I told you not to do that!" He threw the hands off. He was lucky to be able to do that but afraid it won't last for long if they get used to fighting like this. It's the 3rd time if Kihyun isn't mistaken and when Hoseok placed his hands on him again he soon realised that things truly had only gotten worse. He now just noticed Hoseok had lifted him up from the couch but not completely, so his balance was in his will.

As soon as he lifted the younger, his weight brought them back down but Hoseok was quick to catch himself by placing his leg onto the couch, keeping the younger in the air.

Kihyun almost yelled at him but didn't want to make more of a scene and blow Hoseok's cool. He hasn't reached that stage yet where he felt the need to beg for some sort of understanding. However, the look in his eyes says it all. He doesn't know how to react.

"If you don't get it together and fucking grow up we're ending this stupid thing we have!" Hoseok threatened and shook the other mid sentence. Kihyun then managed to free himself, calling him all sorts of names.

"Fuck this, fuck this, seriously!" Hoseok then got away from him and grabs his car keys. Kihyun's eyes follow his form as his body froze when Hoseok messily left their home, leaving the door open. He wanted to let him be but that's fury thinking for him. As soon as he began overthinking he quickly went after him, imagining all the worst things that could happen if he lets him go like this.

He hated Hoseok in this moment but just not enough to wish him anything bad on his way. Just thinking about it frightened him, he can't imagine living with that guilt afterwards.

Kihyun grabs onto his clothes and expected to be shaken off but kept on holding on tightly. "Don't do anything stupid!" He tried to keep his voice down but it was hard to care if anyone will hear.

"Why would you care now?! You never cared!" Hoseok did yell, he had lost it.

"That's enough with this talk! If I didn't care I would have left years ago!"

Hoseok shook him off again to get back inside, Kihyun going after him with one thing in his mind; he's not letting go.

Kihyun had his shirt in his fists, digging his face in Hoseok's back. He does it because he felt guilty. There had been moments like these where these awful thoughts joined their arguements, not knowing if they were for real or not. Hoseok had even spoken multiple times that there's no point in life. It caused major stress on Kihyun especially now that Hoseok noticed it was a weakness he poked on to help Kihyun understand him faster.

But the younger doesn't know if Hoseok is doing it unpurpose or not.

Their relationship had become a mess.

The anger ended up dissolving after they got back inside. They were apart but the calming silence helped them to think about the problems, their own issues and that they needed this arguement to see their so called mistakes. Even when it doesn't make sense to one.

They were back to the beginning, hugging it out while tears dried on their faces. Hoseok and his sweet speech of how much Kihyun means to him and how he doesn't understand why he can't get what he wants, whenever he wants.

Words that triggered Kihyun.

It was nothing serious, Kihyun just didn't feel like it but the other was brainwashed to think that 'no' meant way more.

Perhaps it was but Kihyun wasn't brave enough.

As if nothing happened, Hoseok goes for it again, hinting the bedroom. His smile was small but sweet, but his eyes were sad. Like he wants the other to feel sorry for him.

Kihyun sighs softly, he doesn't want to. Well he does, but not with the Hoseok who keeps arguing, not the Hoseok who assumes things and makes it a huge problem, not with this Hoseok who he Just fought with, who he thought to never want to see again. 

And Hoseok sighs as well; answer took too long. "Anyway.. it's fine like this." He walks away to go sit at the table. "I never asked for too much, but it's fine."

Kihyun barely had the strength to react but anger and dissappointment rose, annoyance and even guilt again.

Can you just stop chickening out? Kihyun thinks to himself.

"Alright." He obeyed dryly, a bit sarcastically. That's how it felt like; obeying. Not giving in, not being convinced. It was only words flowing out while he himself felt like a blank canvas.

"No, no, no, not like that, it has to come from the heart." Hoseok stops him. He doesn't want some fake love, he wants the real thing, genuinely, he deserves better he thinks. All these years of truths and effort, to get this? What'a wrong with Kihyun? Suddenly not taking Hoseok seriously and instead of understanding him, he only goes against him, everything. He feels stupid and like he's wasting a lot of his time.

Those words were nothing new to Kihyun yet they always did the same amount of damage. He did not feel like arguing again, he's exhausted and honestly feels like locking himself up in the room and fall asleep.

They did go to the room but it wasn't for that.

Hoseok might have ignored the face Kihyun carried and made the room go dark while he undressed himself, pants only, looking forward for what's next but Kihyun's face was gradually beginning to bug him.

He ignored it by keeping his eyes down on the body he was obsessed with. He has never seen such a beautiful fit body, if he did, none was like Kihyun's. He wasn't the most perfect but something about him can switch his mood from being upset to feeling amazing. He excited him.

Not always a good thing.

Hoseok acts like he hasn't eaten before, placing kisses all over Kihyun's naked lower body that layed there. Sweet, but very quiet hums of love after each smooch, as if, nothing happened some minutes ago.

Kihyun just gave himself, he wasn't interested in pleasuring him back, caressing his head or do anything that shows he's enjoying himself. And the other isn't stupid, he noticed and he's starting to dislike it a whole bit.

"If you don't wanna do it we might as well stop." Hoseok spoke with a dash of realness. Just a dash. He was 'trying'. Giving an opportunity to stop.

Kihyun knows him too damn well. "No, just continue." He says. He doesn't wanna hear Anything later on.

"You're clearly upset, look at you. I'm not doing it." Hoseok sat next to him. He rubs his forehead, sitting slouched as if he's the one we should be sorry for.

"Just fucking do it!" Kihyun raised his voice. "Do it! You wanted this right?! Then do it." Kihyun crossed his arms over his naked chest, eyes drilling holes in the ceiling he was still able to see a little.

Hoseok had gone quiet while Kihyun wanted him to do whatever to him so Hoseok won't have much to say the next day. Because he will, and he'll make sure it'll be remembered.

Hoseok lays back down supporting his body on his elbow, gently touching Kihyun's naked thigh. He wants to take care of him and make him feel special so he placed gentle kisses as well. The skin underneath his lips did wonders already so he was quick to wiggle between his legs, face down into his crotch and place warm kisses in that area.

It feels wrong to feel this naked and exposed when knowing he was. The warmth and itchyness of Hoseok's now naked upperbody at his lower doesn't feel at it's place.

"We should stop, you're not getting hard." Although Hoseok sounds sincere, the aftermath is the problem.

"No. Keep going." Kihyun said. It triggered him easily.

"But you don't want to!" Hoseok raised his voice a bit.

Kihyun sighed harshly. "Just keep going because if we don't do it today, when will we?!" He said being sarcastic.

Hoseok chuckles halfway. "Well it's not me I always want to but it's always you!"

Kihyun had a lot of reasons and things to say. His mind tracing back to confusing scenarios of them discussing issues he truly doesn't even remember why he would say No. When will he? When can he? Why does he tend to mentally get blocked when the topic arises? He knows his reasons are valid though, it's just Hoseok who tries to change his mind and confuse him.

Hoseok sighs and seems to be standing up.

"No." Kihyun said right away although he was tempted to just screw this night over. But the many days that happened turned out bad. He hated that and he hated this.

Hoseok was convinced after Kihyun brought him back in bed, spreading his legs a little to tell the other to continue where he was left off. Although with a heavy frown on his forehead Hoseok cannot see. He did feel the energy though.

Instead of showering Kihyun's crotch with kisses, he hugged him dearly, warming the space up with his love. After laying there he lifted his head and let his hand gently roam over his ribs down to his abs and abdomen, hip bone to his thighs. Reminding Kihyun what he already knows and how much he cannot resist him. How lucky he himself is.

Kihyun had been staring at the dark ceiling rather playing numb. The bed sounded slightly when Hoseok carefully repositioned himself between the already parted legs and let the tip of his nose trail over the still soft shaft. Going towards the head while his tongue left a cold trail.

Kihyun focused on the noise outside their home, very few cars passing by, few dogs barking in the distance all while Hoseok was still sucking on a semi hard-on. It didn't feel great, he was still fairly numb, like most of the sweet spots had turned off. It just felt like washing himself down there in the shower, nothing special nothing all that exciting. But the constant stimulation eventually did it's magic. He'd gone deaf to the noise outside when his focus was brought back inside.

Kihyun realised how powerful arousal can get and wonders why he always prefers to avoid all this when he knows it can eventually feel good no matter how of much of an insensetive asshole Hoseok can be. He doesn't want to give in but Hoseok is having troubles reaching a spot that was beginning to become eager for some sort of attention now. It was still a secret though because he wasn't ready to go all the way. If he says what he felt, Hoseok will move too quick.

Kihyun hates this but when he finally received those fingers his world just became a little more of a mess than it already was. He shouldn't be in this bed, he shouldn't have given in so many times because now he's somewhat enjoying it feeling confused and guilty. Look how Hoseok got what he wanted when in reality he didn't deserve it.

Hoseok grunted softly when he couldn't wait much longer, he thinks he fingered Kihyun enough to finally have a piece of what he had been begging for, for months.

It took months to convince Kihyun. Hah. Kihyun could laugh at the word 'convince'.

It took months of argueing and explaining, why, they should do it.

"Don't move so fast yet." Kihyun said in almost a whisper. It's frustrating how just this single area can effect his entire body.

"Just relax, breathe. Remember what I taught you." Hoseok brushed his hair back, talking sweet nothings and moving in the same pace. It was slow but Kihyun was far from used to it. He can't even pretend to not feel a thing when every move felt like the road to hell.

"No, waitt." Kihyun had his eyes closed tightly, only seeing the pain in his mind. He had his legs closing up against Hoseok's sides.

"Shhhs," Hoseok stopped moving and gave the other a chance to breathe, kissing his cheek once in a while. Kihyun literally forgot to breathe.

"You need to relax."

"I'm trying!" Kihyun got slightly frustrated. "But how can I relax when it hurts!?"

Hoseok didn't want to hurt him so he plopped himself out.

"Aw that hurt!"

Hoseok hissed. "Come on baby, you know how much I want you?" He was more interested in his ass than who it's attached to. "Let's try again?" He then asked.

Kihyun couldn't verbally agree but didn't dare to whine and pout. "Be careful then, please. And please listen when I talk to you." He then adds strictly and feeling anxious when the head re-entered.

"Wait put more lube." He reminded when the head just felt dry to him.

"It's already wet." Hoseok looks down but his fingers could see more than his own eyes. It did feel like there was enough lube.

"I said put more lube, and just stay inside for a while till I tell you to move."

"I'll soften up like that, you just need to relax. It's all in the mind." Hoseok complains but Kihyun repeated some of what he said earlier. He's trying and doing it in the baby steps Hoseok isn't fond of in this moment might help him.

Hoseok mumbled to himself, showing disagreement while he lubed himself and Kihyun up some more. Beaming off a not so great energy.

He prays for Hoseok to take it very slow. He doubts he'll ever feel pleasure again when it comes to intercourse because since the first time it didn't go well. He was nervous and it was painful. He really did want it, his urges were high and wanted to do it with Hoseok but, as the time came Kihyun got too nervous, and Hoseok never really made him feel like they could take their time. Since then intimacy has left somewhat of a scar for Kihyun all while Hoseok blamed Him for traumatizing him after leaving him hanging for too many times in their relationship. It was confusing to Hoseok when Kihyun was such a tease, getting him hard by doing the most simple things but then when asking for sex Kihyun grew quiet.

Like right now. Real quiet compared to those rare days where Kihyun used to moan out in pleasure. Today it wasn't like so, he feels more used than anything else. How can someone who loves him dearly treat him so carelessly? Thinking back to how Hoseok almost left a bruise on his arms when yanking him off the couch made him feel even worse at this moment. Every thrust left a little scar tissue on his heart, and there were too many. It made him cringe so he tries to stop those thoughts, he tries to stop thinking about the negative side of these thrusts. He wants to feel good but the pleasure is too low.

On the other hand, Hoseok's pleasure was sky high. He breathed and moaned next to Kihyun's ear, praising him as if he had never fucked this good before. Well, he has been faithful to Kihyun not to cheat when he had been waiting for way too long. So he couldn't let this opportunity fly. It has happened before and last time it wasn't pretty, there were raising voices, chilling arguements, threats of breaking up, accusations and what not. Nothing mentally healthy.

The wait was long so yes he had never fucked this good before. The breaths and feel of this man below him finally in this position did wonders too so his orgasm felt beyond heaven, thrusting in hard, almost like attacking Kihyun's body with his powerful hips when he pushed their bodies further up the bed. His whole body felt ticklish and he moaned loud but fought the others back in leaving his voice to wobble. He couldn't believe the lasting pleasure he felt so softer moans of that and exhaustion followed. He never stopped moving too though, he couldn't.

Kihyun finally got half as vocal as him. Reached down to Hoseok's ass to push and keep him deeper only because his sweet spot was hit enough while the stimulation at his erect penis made him reach his peak. Letting out very few low restricted moans and that only.

Something that always kept Hoseok wanting to hear more from.

Kihyun lightly hugged onto him who kept on praising him and how much he longed for this. "You see? You can fuck." Hoseok said catching his breath still. "And you fucked so well." He hugs Kihyun back, not slipping out from between those aching legs just yet.

Kihyun's not happy with those words. It didn't really boost his confidence or made him truly believe he'll do better next time but he sure is glad he was able to reach orgasm like this, and also so glad it was finally over.

Nothing, mentally healthy.

~~~~~~

The end~

Thanks for reading.


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